Becoming straight. Becoming gay.
Hi Everyone!! :o)
Surprisingly few of us question when a man [who has been in a straight relationship - perhaps even married with kids] discovers [within himself] that he might be gay - but often dismiss as nonsense the idea of a gay man who discovers that he might be straight? Why is that? Why is a straight man who becomes gay a man who is 'being TRUE to himself' when a gay man who becomes straight is man in 'a state of denial'?
Personally - I think it's dangerous to ASSUME that a person's sexual orientation is something that they are BORN with. People change all the time. They mature, they become smarter, they get to know themselves better. Their attitudes change and sometimes - the sex of the person they are attracted to - changes too. Don't limit yourself to an ideal. Being 'true to yourself' does NOT mean 'live up to what someone ELSE expects of you'. IF someone objects to any decision you make regarding YOUR life - that's THEIR problem - not yours. If you NOW feel differently - orientation wise - than you once did - well great. This doesn't mean that you have to ACT on those different feelings - necessarily - but that's OK. IF I acted on all of my feelings [sexual and otherwise] I'm not sure where I'd be today. [maybe a prison or a grave yard - who knows!!]
GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!! :o)
posted by CanadaCraig @ 1:13 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
Argosy, do you see preference and orientation as the same thing? I suspect anyone could have sex with either gender if they allowed themself to. I don't however think that would change orientation. If a person was truly homosexual I don't think sleeping with women or having children would change that. Behavior IMHO is s different animal than orientation.
robbrt,why would you or do you want an expert or anybody else to "tell' you or give you permission to "do what ever you want?" Seems a responsible person could do that for themself and not need someone to blame for their behavior. Hearing something and feeling an obligation to do it is a far cry from taking charge of your life.
I was gay and I became straight I just started liking women
Thank you so much for saying this. I'm an 18 year old guy, and I've always been known as gay. Within the past year, though, I've started having much stronger sexual attraction to women than men. But whenever I tell my friends I may be straight, they say I'm lying. They're less accepting of a straight guy than a gay one.
i'm male... bi gay straight... not sure where i fit on the scale but although i was always somewhat attracted to women and had two extremely short relationships and a little sex with women, i spent 30 years in several gay relationships. then over the last 18 months i lost all attraction to men and have spent all my free time in the company of lovely women. its kind of like finally growing up, like the confused teenager thing lasted 30 years and its finally over. nothing religious was involved by the way. i don't feel bad about who i was, but i do like the new me better than the old me. if any other folks out there had this happen, hey great, enjoy it, you got a second bite at the cherry and though few seem to talk about it, it does happen and you aren't the only one. it a helluva thrilling ride when those new feelings kick in, but if it happened to you like it did to me, i guess you already know that :)
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