Regarding the Ex-Gay Movement

Hi Guys!! :o)

I hope you're OK.

I find it hard to believe that ex-gay groups are only pretending to believe that a gay man can become straight. And I find it hard to believe that the purpose for such groups exists only out of a desire to cause harm and heartache. Whenever we disagree with an individual or group of people - it's easy to 'demonize' them and to completely dismiss everything they think, feel and do. And I say 'easy' because to do otherwise would put us in a position where we would have to consider contrary points of view. Human beings LOVE thinking in terms of 'us vs them'. [Because it appeals to our need to feel 'better than'] But rarely [if ever] can we afford the luxury of dismissing absolutely everything someone else believes. [And I say 'believes' - because everything a person SAYS and/or DOES is rooted in what they BELIEVE]

Many men will tell you that their sexual orientation HAS changed. And that the 'change' came about from participating in one ex-gay group or another. Are we to ignore those men? Are we to assume that THEY MUST be 'brainwashed' or [perhaps] they never really were gay in the first place? Are we to find pleasure if one of those men 'falls back' into a so-called 'lifestyle' that he once claimed was no longer appealing to him?! [And consider such a failing a victory?!] Again - that's just too easy.

Many people who believe that a person can change their sexual orientation are smart people. People who have thought this issue through and have concluded something that THEY believe to be the 'truth'. And many of those who say that their sexual orientation has changed are also intelligent people. The ex-gay movement is not made up of half-wits. [At least not any more than any other group] For the most part - those who support the 'can change' idea are thoughtful, considerate, compassionate people. They are NOT 'monsters' trying to ruin your life. [And keep you from having 'fun'] In fact - in THEIR mind - they are trying to KEEP you from ruining your own life. To me - that sounds like a noble motivation. [Is is not?!]

Now keep in mind - none of this has anything to do with whether or not you AGREE with what supporters of the 'ex-gay movement' have come to believe. This message is about YOU and YOUR CHARACTER. I'm trying to encourage all of you to be ever mindful of the fact that as a human being - YOU are accountable for what YOU say and DO. AND for how YOU respond to other people. [even those you don't agree with] And there is no excuse. We love to justify becoming a jerk because the 'other guy' was an jerk FIRST. Well... so what if he was?! Now all we've got are TWO jerks.

One of the most difficult 'things' NOT to become - I think - is a hypocrite. We always have to be on guard against becoming exactly like the very people we protest against. IF [for example] you hate people who act as if THEY 'know' the TRUTH - because YOU 'know' the TRUTH - than YOU are a hypocrite. You are no different than the one you hate. I know it doesn't always FEEL that way - but that's how it works. To hold to a point of view that is totally contrary to the point of view held by someone else - does not - in of itself - make you 'right'. This is why it is so important to always TRY to understand WHY someone believes in something that you don't. And it's always important to acknowledge that in spite of how strongly you believe something - you could still be wrong.

GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!! :o)