Are you having SEX when what you REALLY want is INTIMACY?!

Hi Everyone!! :o)

I hope you're having a great day!!

Intimacy is scary. It involves being genuinely, emotionally close to someone. The trouble is - the closer we are to someone - the greater the chance there is of being hurt. But intimacy [Often defined as 'love, closeness and tenderness' - among other things] is what most of us are really seeking. It's what we REALLY want. It's what we are REALLY looking for in a relationship. But because most of us are afraid of what might happen IF we get 'too close' to someone [And if THEY get 'too close' to US] we have [often] settled for something that leaves us feeling even more empty and alone. And that something is SEX.

A few years ago - before 'Brokeback Mountain' was released and shown in theatres all across the country - it was shown to a select group of people in order to see how an audience would respond. This is often done with movies in order to see if any more editing should be done. Interestingly - a few people felt uncomfortable enough with the movie that they left the theatre. But what's most interesting about that is WHEN they left. Those who left the theatre didn't leave when Ennis Del Mar [Played by Heath Ledger] had anal sex in a tent with Jack Twist. [Played by Jake Gyllenhaal] They left when Ennis and Jack were being INTIMATE with each other. [Which took place a little later in the movie] It was NOT two guys having SEX that upset some of those who left the theatre. But two guys being INTIMATE. That was a clear example of the sort of fear some people have of intimacy.

Can a person have sex with someone that they also have an intimate relationship with? Absolutely. And that's when sex is wonderful. But many of us - I believe - are using sex as a substitute for being intimate. So it's no wonder that so many of us feel even lonelier and even more 'empty' inside after having sex. And that's because we expected sex to make us FEEL more intimate with someone. But it doesn't always work that way. In fact - I think it rarely works that way. Which is why - for many people - sex is a disappointment. And no wonder. Oh sure - having sex can be fun WHILE we are having sex. But if sex really lived up the 'promise' of making us feel 'whole' and 'content' - then why are so many people still so lonely, sad and 'empty' inside - even if they are having sex? And why are those who have had multiple sex partners even lonelier still? [Which is often the case]

Using my signature quote but the changing the words a little - I came up with the following.

"It takes FAR MORE COURAGE to be INTIMATE with someone than it does to have SEX with that someone!!"

Do yourself a favour. The next time you have sex [Or the first time you have sex] ask yourself how 'intimate' you are with that someone you are thinking of having sex with. If you don't feel that there truly is an emotional bond with that 'someone else' - then maybe you should work on that BEFORE having sex with them. Or simply chose not to have sex at all. At least not until you find someone that you can be intimate with.

I should also say that intimacy is a BIG part of what makes two people 'best friends'.

GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!! :o)

The new CFL light bulbs. A great idea!! Right?!

Hi Everyone!! :o)

I hope you're OK.

To go 'green' - "Simply replace the usual 75-watt incandescent light bulbs with 18-watt compact fluorescent light bulbs. These provide about the same light output, use a fraction of the energy and last up to 13 times longer." Says an article from BBC NEWS.

Sounds wonderful - doesn't it?!

And only a SELFISH person, someone who does NOT care about the world we live in, would refuse to use the new bulbs. RIGHT?!

Maybe. But then again - maybe not.

Without question - those incandescent light bulbs that we have all been using for 100+ years ARE energy inefficient. Most of the energy they create turns into HEAT and not LIGHT.

But just how much do we REALLY KNOW about the CFL's?! [Compact Fluorescent Light-bulbs]

And are they SAFE?!

SURE... if we all used them [And we will very soon not have a right to choose whether or not we do] 'we' will save money and energy.

But I ask again.... ARE THEY SAFE?!

According to Canada's 'EnergyStar' website [A website in favour of the new bulbs] this is what you do if you ever BREAK a CFL.

"Open the windows, leave the room and close the door. After an hour or so, the air will have circulated. Using gloves, sweep the bits of broken CFL into some newspaper. Avoid using a vacuum. Wipe the area well with a disposable cloth. Place the debris and the rag into a seal-able plastic bag and dispose of it as you would any HAZARDOUS material. It will be safe in a cardboard box until this is convenient. Done"

Convenient?

Is that their idea of convenient?!

Is that their idea of SAFE?!

25 watt CFL's [Which is what most people will use to replace the old bulbs they are using now] have 5 milligrams of mercury per bulb. And given the fact that the bulbs are quite new and have yet to burn out and be disposed of in any significant number - no one knows for SURE just what the impact of those disposed of CFL's will have on the environment. In the U.S. alone it is quite possible that [From 2010 and beyond] anywhere from 80 to 100 MILLION improperly disposed of CFL light bulbs will will be dumped - literally - into our landfills each and every year. [And that information is from a PRO CFL light bulb website] The amount of mercury in that many CFL's will create an INTOLERABLE TOXIC BURDEN to the environment.

And that is exactly what we will be facing. Don't kid yourself.

The price we all ALL going to PAY for the enforced use of CFL's is going to be quite devastating.

But there is more to the story...

Many doctors - including Sanjay Gupta who most of us have seen on CNN - are very concerned about the effect CFL's will have on our HEALTH. [Even if they don't break] Dr. Gupta can't help but be concerned when it comes the effect of CFL's on migraine sufferers and those who have a history of epileptic 'fits'.

But the hell with them - right?

WE ARE SAVING THE ENVIROMENT!!

So I ask again...

At what ultimate cost?!

Now don't get me wrong - I think the there are many practical uses for CFL's. Apartment and office building hallways - for instance. And many other places where a light is always on. But to force people to use CFL's for EVERY SINGLE LIGHT they have in their home [With the exception of some appliances - like the oven] is a direct attack on the idea of freedom. Encourage the use of CFL's? Sure. And you can do that by making the cost of a CFL light bult about the same as the old incandescent light bulb. But to outright BAN [As Canada and other countries are about to do] is silly. And will quite possibly turn into one of the biggest environmental disasters that man has ever brought onto the world.

I say...

For the SAKE of the environment....

Do NOT ban the sale of incandescent light bulbs.

GBH - Craig!! :o)

President Barack Obama?!

Hi Everyone!! :)

I hope you're OK.

This is a serious post. It has to do with a GUT feeling I have regarding what I believe is a very real possibility of what MIGHT happen if it appears as though Senator Barack Obama will be the next President of the United States. What I'm about to share with you has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not Senator Obama would make a good President. In fact - what I'm about to say has nothing to do with him at all. At least not insofar as WHO he IS as a person. This is not a character assassination. But it is about an assassination all the same.

I am almost overwhelmed with the FEELING that IF it looks as though Senator Barack Obama will be the next President - he will be shot and [Quite possibly] killed by an American who believes that it is his 'duty' to keep a 'black man' from calling the White House 'home'. I believe that - as I write this very message - there are people in the U.S. [Perhaps even groups of people] who are playing a 'waiting game' to see just how 'close' Senator Obama can get to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. And IF it looks as though Senator Obama will be the next President - someone from somewhere will do something in an attempt to keep that from happening. My GUT tells me that the attempt will be successful.

I actually find this gut feeling to be quite disturbing. Which is why I basically kept it to myself. [Out of my concern NOT to sound like an alarmist] But lately - after finding the courage to share these thought with a few people - I now realize that I'm not alone. Other people feel the same way. It is a genuine concern. And beyond the assassination [Or attempted assassination] of Senator Obama comes the fear of some very real, and very tragic consequences. [Beyond the death - or near death - of the Senator himself] His death would spark the powder keg known politely as America's poor race relations. Riots would break out all over the U.S. and many parts of many cities would literally burn. Think Rodney King's 'L.A. Riots' all over America. Very scary. And very possible.

According to an article on the MSNBC website dated May 3rd, 2007 - "The Secret Service said Thursday that Senator Barack Obama was being placed under their protection, the earliest ever for a presidential candidate. Officials said Obama had requested the protection."

And on The Larry King Show [A few years ago] Colin Powell and his wife Alma both discussed the fear for the safety of Colin Powell and the likelihood of Colin getting killed if he ran (and probably won) as the first 'black' candidate for the President of the United States.

I hope I'm wrong. I really hope I'm wrong. But anyone who knows even a little bit of the history of the U.S. knows that there are indeed Americans who will not be happy [To say the least] with the idea of a 'black man' being the President of the United States. So unhappy with the idea - in fact - that they will do [Or at least TRY to do] something about it.

GBH - Craig!! :)

Regarding the Ex-Gay Movement

Hi Guys!! :o)

I hope you're OK.

I find it hard to believe that ex-gay groups are only pretending to believe that a gay man can become straight. And I find it hard to believe that the purpose for such groups exists only out of a desire to cause harm and heartache. Whenever we disagree with an individual or group of people - it's easy to 'demonize' them and to completely dismiss everything they think, feel and do. And I say 'easy' because to do otherwise would put us in a position where we would have to consider contrary points of view. Human beings LOVE thinking in terms of 'us vs them'. [Because it appeals to our need to feel 'better than'] But rarely [if ever] can we afford the luxury of dismissing absolutely everything someone else believes. [And I say 'believes' - because everything a person SAYS and/or DOES is rooted in what they BELIEVE]

Many men will tell you that their sexual orientation HAS changed. And that the 'change' came about from participating in one ex-gay group or another. Are we to ignore those men? Are we to assume that THEY MUST be 'brainwashed' or [perhaps] they never really were gay in the first place? Are we to find pleasure if one of those men 'falls back' into a so-called 'lifestyle' that he once claimed was no longer appealing to him?! [And consider such a failing a victory?!] Again - that's just too easy.

Many people who believe that a person can change their sexual orientation are smart people. People who have thought this issue through and have concluded something that THEY believe to be the 'truth'. And many of those who say that their sexual orientation has changed are also intelligent people. The ex-gay movement is not made up of half-wits. [At least not any more than any other group] For the most part - those who support the 'can change' idea are thoughtful, considerate, compassionate people. They are NOT 'monsters' trying to ruin your life. [And keep you from having 'fun'] In fact - in THEIR mind - they are trying to KEEP you from ruining your own life. To me - that sounds like a noble motivation. [Is is not?!]

Now keep in mind - none of this has anything to do with whether or not you AGREE with what supporters of the 'ex-gay movement' have come to believe. This message is about YOU and YOUR CHARACTER. I'm trying to encourage all of you to be ever mindful of the fact that as a human being - YOU are accountable for what YOU say and DO. AND for how YOU respond to other people. [even those you don't agree with] And there is no excuse. We love to justify becoming a jerk because the 'other guy' was an jerk FIRST. Well... so what if he was?! Now all we've got are TWO jerks.

One of the most difficult 'things' NOT to become - I think - is a hypocrite. We always have to be on guard against becoming exactly like the very people we protest against. IF [for example] you hate people who act as if THEY 'know' the TRUTH - because YOU 'know' the TRUTH - than YOU are a hypocrite. You are no different than the one you hate. I know it doesn't always FEEL that way - but that's how it works. To hold to a point of view that is totally contrary to the point of view held by someone else - does not - in of itself - make you 'right'. This is why it is so important to always TRY to understand WHY someone believes in something that you don't. And it's always important to acknowledge that in spite of how strongly you believe something - you could still be wrong.

GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!! :o)

The Kennedy Assassination

Hi Everyone!! :)

Exactly 42 years ago today [the day I'm posting this] President John F. Kennedy was shot to death in Dallas. I was only 4 months old when it happened - so it wasn't me. But who was it?

Who killed the President?

Do you believe Lee Harvey Oswald was the 'lone gunman'? [as many have suggested over the years] OR do you believe that there were other people shooting at the President that day? [perhaps from behind the 'grassy knoll'] IF you believe that Oswald was a 'patsy' - and was in fact working in concert [or so he thought - at least] with a group of people - who were those people? The Cubans perhaps? What about the 'mob'? Then again - maybe it was someone [or a group of people] within government itself?

As far as I am concerned - the only ones who COULD have arranged for the assassination of the President AND remain quiet - even after all these years - would be the 'mob'. Not only did they have a motive - but also the 'means'. They could have done it. And I think they probably did. And just so you know - I'm not alone in thinking this. Walter Cronkite believes the mob was behind that fateful day as well.

After JFK died - it was only his brother who continued to fight against organized crime. After HIS death - not much has been said about the 'mob' - by any President. [or any candidate to BE President] Why is that?

We will probably never really know the answer. But I have never been able to swallow either the 'lone gunman' theory OR the idea of there being such a thing as a 'magic bullet'.

What do YOU think? Who killed JFK?!

The following link will take you to an interesting website. There is a web-cam set up on the site from the southeast window on the sixth floor of the former Texas School Book Depository in Dallas. [the same window many believe Oswald shot from]

http://www.earthcam.com/jfk/

Craig!! :o)

Is it sadder when a pretty person dies?

Hi Everyone!! :o)

When you hear of a death on CNN [or wherever] are you more likely to care and be upset if the person who died was pretty or handsome? I can't help but notice how the news media seems to focus far more attention on horrible things happening to pretty people than to the not-so-pretty. Is it just my imagination? Or are we ALL like that?

Which of the following made-up stories are you more saddened by?

NEWS ITEM ONE: Early Friday morning - 19 year old Jenny Smith was abducted from her home. Her body was found in South Park late Sunday evening. Smith was described as having blond hair and blue eyes. She was a fitness instructor at BodyPlus and a three time winner of the annual Hooter's Wet T-Shirt contest. The police are asking anyone who may have witnessed the abduction and subsequent murder of Smith to call them at 555-1234.

NEWS ITEM TWO: Early Friday morning - 19 year old Jenny Smith was abducted from her home. Her body was found in South Park late Sunday evening. Smith was described as a large female with short dark hair. She worked part-time at the DonutHut but dedicated most of her energy at her home-run professional dog-walking business. The police are asking anyone who may have witnessed the abduction and subsequent murder of Smith to call them at 555-1234.

GBH - Craig!! :o)

Consuming more energy

Hi Everyone!! :o)

Should one person - for no other reason than he/she can afford to do so - consume more energy than some other person? If there was a room full of people and in the corner of that room was the entire water supply - should the one with the most money get the most water? If you say no - than could not the same argument be applied to energy resources - like gasoline? OR do you feel that we're not quite that desperate yet? But if we were - would you allot the amount of fuel someone gets to how much one NEEDS or to how much one can AFFORD?

GBH - Craig!! :o)

Becoming straight. Becoming gay.

Hi Everyone!! :o)

Surprisingly few of us question when a man [who has been in a straight relationship - perhaps even married with kids] discovers [within himself] that he might be gay - but often dismiss as nonsense the idea of a gay man who discovers that he might be straight? Why is that? Why is a straight man who becomes gay a man who is 'being TRUE to himself' when a gay man who becomes straight is man in 'a state of denial'?

Personally - I think it's dangerous to ASSUME that a person's sexual orientation is something that they are BORN with. People change all the time. They mature, they become smarter, they get to know themselves better. Their attitudes change and sometimes - the sex of the person they are attracted to - changes too. Don't limit yourself to an ideal. Being 'true to yourself' does NOT mean 'live up to what someone ELSE expects of you'. IF someone objects to any decision you make regarding YOUR life - that's THEIR problem - not yours. If you NOW feel differently - orientation wise - than you once did - well great. This doesn't mean that you have to ACT on those different feelings - necessarily - but that's OK. IF I acted on all of my feelings [sexual and otherwise] I'm not sure where I'd be today. [maybe a prison or a grave yard - who knows!!]

GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!! :o)

Always a Victim

Hi Everyone!! :o)

A lot of people go through life having [what THEY believe to be] a wonderful 'excuse' for being mean-spirited and abusive towards others. They see themselves as 'victims' and no matter what they say or do - it's justified. [in their mind] This 'excuse' is quite common [I believe] among those who belong to the so-called 'gay community'. Many gay people are under the mistaken impression that what they expect of others should NOT be expected of them. They feel as though everyone ELSE has an obligation to embrace everything that THEY are - but they are not under the same obligation when it comes to other people. [i.e. "You have to accept ME the way I AM - but I don't have to accept YOU the way YOU are."] I say that's not true. A gay person is just as responsible for how he or she treats others as anyone else is. A 90 year old straight woman who believes it's 'wrong' to be gay is JUST as valuable and just as worthy of respect as is a 16 year old militant gay boy. Her life and her thoughts and feelings AND beliefs are no less valuable. And she has just as much of a right to believe what she believes as does anyone else does. And all of those thoughts and feelings should be respected. "Treat others as we would want to be treated" is not just something nice to say - it should be how we live our lives.

Have a great day!!
Craig!! :o)

Enrique Iglesias wants to endorse extra-small condoms

Hi Everyone!! :o)

Enrique Inglesias wants to endorse extra-small condoms!!

I have to admit - I'm proud of him.

Click on http://in.news.yahoo.com/051111/139/6104h.html to read the story.

In one article - someone said [in response to Enrique telling everyone that he has what he believes to be a 'small penis']

"... he turns out NOT to be the great lover we all thought he was."

To THAT person I say... F.U.!!

GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!! :o)

PS Regardless of Enrique's penis size - one thing is for sure. He has HUGE balls!! :o)